i was a really good mom before i had kids

I just finished reading a somewhat-enlightening, somewhat-terrifying book called I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids. It reaffirms my personal belief that, as a Mom, I have placed entirely too much pressure on myself to be everything to everyone, and when I don't live up to those unrealistic expectations, I feel super-guilty and overwhelmed. This book told me that most Moms do the same thing. However, some of these guilty mom's testimonies are a little bit extreme. For instance, one woman says, "The only time I ever spanked my kid, we were on vacation, and my husband was working during the week. It was terrible. I grew up in a house where spanking was expected. This one time that I did it, I went into the bathroom and vomited." I mean, really. Unless you're beating your child like she's Barbaro you should not feel that guilty about spanking them. Most of the Moms in this book are from California and New York City, so they don't really have the traditional values that we have down here in the Deep South. But, no matter where you are in the country, you can guarantee that there are Moms all over the fruited plain who feel as guilty and unprepared for motherhood as you do.

Nonetheless, my favorite passage reads: "Personally, when we're feeling exasperated, we like to think in terms of 'the last time'- as in, there will be a last time for everything. When will be the last time I give her a bottle, or the last time I put her to bed in her crib, or the last time I can actually cradle my son in my lap, or the last time he will let me hold his hand in public? It's amazing how quickly this puts things in perspective. One minute we're thinking we'll have to shoot ourselves if we have to dress her up in a princess costume again, and the next we could cry because soon enough we'll be shopping for prom dresses."

Instead of my motto being: "this too shall pass," I have been trying to savor each moment with my children. In the day-to-day humdrum of being a Mom, sometimes you can get burnt out on the little things: cleaning, picking up toys 14 times a day, making lunches no one will eat, washing clothes that will just get dirty again, saying "No!" more than you thought humanly possible.

It's so hard to be a Mom sometimes. It's thankless & painful. But the moments when the dishes are clean, the toys are put away, and Evan and Garrett are sleeping in our bed with their little butts in the air, drool pouring out of their mouths...that makes up for the chaos that I know is coming in just a few short hours.