It's Potty Time!

"Toilet paper, toilet paper, on a roll, next to me. I can use a few squares, maybe one or two squares. How about three. Hooray for me!" That's the song we've been hearing the last few days as Squeege has been rockin' it on the potty. He's a total champ at this potty thing, and we are SO proud of him! My Mom has been wearing me out about getting him potty trained, but I had a feeling that he would do it at his own pace, so we waited until he seemed ready. And he's doing awesome!

He loves his "Cars" underpants. He's super-proud to show them off. And I think it might be a boy thing, because when I saw Jackson Cartwright at Target this morning he seemed more than happy to show me his big-boy underpants, too! It's so funny how we're all potty-training our kids at the same time. I'm sure the caregivers at MOPS and CBS will be very happy to know they won't have to change as many three-year-old diapers. I, for one, am relieved to be getting rid of diapers for Squeege. They're so expensive! Good luck to all the mommies going through this right now.

Ungrateful

It's so funny how sometimes God tests you until you feel like you can't handle it anymore. It's almost like He wants you to get to the point where you have no other option except to desperately pray to Him for help. That's how it has been with Garrett these past few days.
It has been so frustrating to hear him cry and cry and cry and not be able to do anything to help him. Our pediatrician gives us a canned response that I'm sure she gives everyone who comes to her, hopeless, as their baby is screaming in their arms: "I'm sorry. Some babies just cry." After hearing that response, I calmly decided not to attack her, Jerry Springer-style.
I started doing my research online. It was nice to know that I'm not the only Mom who has a baby that they just can't quite figure out. After praying and praying and praying for the right thing to do, I decided to try the prescription baby Zantac that my doctor had finally only given me after I had insisted that Garrett's crying was more than just his way of "communicating". I switched his formula to the more expensive, hypoallergenic Enfamil Nutramigen. I bought the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp.

All day, Garrett had this look of peace on his face that I haven't seen since he was a newborn. He didn't writhe in pain every time I fed him. He didn't cry for hours on end. He didn't scream every time I put him down. He didn't spit up everything he ate. He had several long naps, which had never happened before today. My prayers were answered. Thank you, God!
This experience, which I never had with my firstborn, has taught me that if everything was a piece of cake we'd be completely ungrateful for amazing days like this. It would make little victories insignificant. I know there's some cliched saying about this, but I can't think of it, so I'll make up my own: "You've got to know the screaming so you can appreciate the silence." or... "You've got to know the spit-up so you can appreciate the clean shirts." or... "(insert witty adage here)"

Watch for the Poot Cloud

Typical Boy

I'm not sure what's so fascinating about their privates, but boys sure do love them! Maybe they're just afraid someone is going to steal them. Even while Evan was passed out in this incredibly uncomfortable position on the couch this afternoon, he made sure he kept tabs on his weenie beans. We've started letting him walk around without a diaper for potty-training purposes, but that has just provided easier access to the family jewels. He might as well get it out of his system while it's still semi-adorable.

Happy Birthday Choppy!

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Birthday, Chopsters! You're still the best-lookin' grandpa in the world!

We're bad parents.

Evan already has a potty mouth. Whenever we tickle him & he's not in the mood, he says, "Stop, Dad, you're making me crap!" What?!? I have no idea where he got that one. Nevertheless, both Mark & I try our hardest not to smile when he says this. But it's super-hard to discipline him while our faces are turned downward so he can't see us stifling our laughs.

What do you do all day?

I love that question, especially when posed by people who don't have children. Do you really think I sit at home all day, watching soap operas and eating bon-bons? Well, you're right. But in between all of that, here's a typical day, starting at 12AM:
12:30AM- finally fall into bed after completing various tasks that cannot be done while the children are awake
3:30AM- wake up & feed a squirming, hungry newborn, desperately trying to keep my eyes open while doing so
6:30AM-wake up & feed a squirming, hungry newborn again, check the weather & catch up on Fox News in the process
7:00AM-try to grab a few more winks before Squeege comes barreling down the stairs
7:01AM-Squeege comes barreling down the stairs
7:05AM-make breakfast while holding a wide-awake infant & listening to a rambunctious toddler demand Lucky Charms instead of the Kix cereal I just fixed him. And he wants his orange juice in a different cup. Without the lid. Now.
7:30AM-put The Fairly Oddparents on TV during breakfast so I can start getting diaper bags & backpacks ready for the day
8:00AM-throw Evan in the bathtub & Garrett in his swing so I can try to freshen up before our day begins
8:05AM-both boys are screaming, bored, & unable to handle the fact that they don't have my complete & undivided attention
8:30AM-chase down Squeege and wrestle him into his clothes and shoes
8:35AM-put an outfit on Garrett. He barfs on it. Put another outfit on him.
8:40AM-try to bribe Squeege into letting me brush his hair and teeth, because he's starting to look like Albert Einstein with dragon breath. Eventually have to pin him down on the ground & take an elbow to the chin to get his grill relatively clean.
8:45AM-boys are still screaming as I finally manage to squeeze into a pair of pants that I can zip up all the way without looking like an exploded Pillsbury Crescent Roll canister
8:50AM-We're on our way out the door when Squeege decides he wants to empty his orange juice on the (formerly) white carpet. I'm tempted to leave it there, but instead throw a towel on top of it, soak up the majority of it, and then head out the door.
....shoot, I forgot something. Run inside, grab the bottle, and come back out.
....shoot, I forgot something again. Run inside, grab the cell phone, and come back out.
....shoot, I forgot to shut the front door. Get out of the car, shut the door, and come back out.
8:55AM-load the kids into the car, both of them still screaming bloody murder
9:00AM-head to (insert various children's activities here), midway realizing I forgot something else.
9:15-11:15AM-say the word NO an incomprehensible amount of times, and then give up on even trying because Squeege is completely ignoring me anyway
11:30AM-carry about 60 lbs. worth of diaper bags, backpacks, and assorted materials back to the car after said activity
11:40AM-finally get arsenal and children loaded into car; one screaming because he's hungry, the other screaming because he didn't want to leave
12:00PM-meet Meme for lunch and let her do the disciplining for the hour
1:00PM-run assorted errands while Squeege is in the backseat reminding me to stop at all the stop signs and use my blinker. When he's not correcting my driving, he's screaming at me to turn the radio up louder, and demanding to listen to Bill O'Reilly.
2:30PM-get home just in time to feed a screaming newborn & watch Spongebob. Again.
3:00PM-try to fold a load of laundry while Garrett naps and Evan plays in the backyard.
3:05PM-Evan decides he wants to dig to China and finds a 6-inch centipede. Screams bloody murder & demands comfort after seeing "a monster."
3:10PM-crisis averted, back to the laundry.
3:20PM-wipe the sweat off my brow & start tackling the dishes.
3:25PM-Squeege demands to watch Cars & have a snack. I acquiesce so that I can finish the kitchen.
3:30PM-Squeege demands a different movie & a different snack. I don't acquiesce, and I get a tantrum instead.
3:31PM-Garrett is awakened from his slumber by the gentle sounds of his big brother, who has wiped the "tears" from his eyes and wants to dive off the back of the couch into the "bushes." The kitchen will have to wait.
4:00PM-begin wondering when Mark's going to be home so that I can finally shower for the day. It's party time for both boys- Squeege has pulled out every single one of his toys from the toy box, and Garrett refuses to be anywhere but right in my arms.
6:00PM-Mark finally gets home to see me, covered in spit up and orange juice, hair completely out of control, makeup melted off, immobilized on the couch while my eldest child karate chops me. I don't try to defend myself.
6:30PM-Mark thankfully makes dinner with his little angel child, who suddenly can't wait to help out in the kitchen with his Daddy.
6:45PM-Mark asks me to help him clean up the kitchen with that look like, "Why couldn't you have done this earlier?" I give him the look like, "Don't mess with me, or I'll put Nair in your shampoo."
7:00PM-dinner time. Squeege doesn't want to sit in his seat, Garrett doesn't want to hang out in his swing. Mark has to cut my food for me because I only have one hand free while I'm holding Garrett.
7:02PM-Squeege insists that he's done with dinner and that he needs to get back to "work"- more disasters await him.
7:30PM-I offer to clean the kitchen so I can have a moment's peace while Mark watches the kids.
7:45PM-feed Garrett, change diapers, put on pajamas, start the bedtime battle
8:00PM-take Squeege upstairs for a bedtime story & some snuggles
8:05PM-I can hear Garrett screaming downstairs with his father as I read "Cars" for the 4 millionth time. I start to sweat.
8:30PM-We finish our story, say our prayers, and then Squeege says, "Good night, Mommy. I love you. Can I have a smooch?" And that makes the whole day worth it.
9:00PM-Garrett and Mark fall asleep together in bed, and they look so much like each other in their matching diapers and drool spots. That makes the chaos worth it, too.
9:15PM-I go into the living room and mess around with email and the internet for a while. I already miss my babies, and I can't wait for the day to start again.

fave photos of 2007

See my Tabblo>

nothing to do with our family, but hilarious nonetheless

This is a video of our good friend Daniel Cort doing his Harry Caray impression while on vacation in the Dominican Republic. Hilarious, especially if you're fond of Will Ferrell's impression of Harry Caray. Enjoy! 

a day in the life of the squeege

Everyone says that the "terrible twos" are nothing compared to the threes. (What would be a good name for that age? I think they should be the "geez-louise" threes, because that's what I've noticed myself saying more and more as I encounter another catastrophe around every corner. As we rapidly approach Squeege's 3rd birthday, we are noticing that he has morphed into an unrecognizable demon-child, trapped in the body of our once-angelic baby boy. 

Today, in my plain view, Squeege decided to scoot a barstool over to the kitchen counter and pull down the Flintstones Gummy Vitamins. I wasn't too concerned about it because the bottle had a child-proof cap. Child-proof is a load of dookey. Squeege must have opened it with ease, because I didn't even notice it while he was sitting right beside me on the couch. The next second I looked at him, he was gulping down almost half the bottle of gummies. I've heard that it can be toxic to ingest too much of the vitamins in them, so I panicked and called 911. 

Next thing you know, there was a fire truck, ambulance, security truck, and Grandma Niecy parked in our driveway. Luckily, after examining the contents of the bottle, the EMTs determined that nothing was toxic, and that, worst-case scenario, Squeege will be constipated for a while. But the immediate effects are tempting me to OD on multivitamins. I'd love to have this kind of energy!

Eventually, I had to lock him in the laundry basket. He actually enjoyed it in his "cave," so it wasn't exactly the ruthless punishment I was going for. 

Meanwhile, Garrett was as peaceful as can be in his mini-papasan with his "beer" and his remote control. Even when Spongebob's not on TV, there's plenty of things around the house to keep him entertained. 

Merry New Year! Beef jerky time!

New Year's Eve was low-key for our fam this year. Meme came over with her girlfriend Jennifer before they went out on the town, all dolled up like they were going to the prom. Turned out my mom, who always says she can hardly stay up to watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve, stayed out 'til 3am! What a party animal! 

Choppy and Grandma Niecy came over to our house for dinner, but Evan couldn't eat until he got to light a few things on fire. Sparklers, namely. Although he didn't burn himself, he did end up running into a wall while distractedly playing with a sparkler of his own. Mark made us a dee-lish steak dinner, and after a rousing conversation about religion, we decided to lighten the mood by playing the game Would You Rather?, where we asked each other such enlightening questions as:

-Would you rather take a mudbath in crap, OR inhale through a plastic bag filled with vomit for 15 minutes?

-Would you rather lick the inside of a used plunger, OR chew on a hairy, unidentifiable object found underneath the cushions of an old sofa?

-Would you rather pee out of your nose, OR poop out of your ear?

Whoever came up with these questions is a genius. And my hero. 

New Year's Day we went to Meme's house for lunch, where we ate a dee-lish ham, black-eyed peas (for luck), collard greens (for money), and yellow rice. Yum yum! Squeege is definitely a Southern boy. He devoured it all! And so did Mark and I. 

This is how we all felt after lunch. We relaxed for a little while, then Mark and I left the tots with Meme and went to see the new National Treasure movie. And we ate about a gallon of buttered popcorn and drank two quarts of Diet Coke. So much for our new year's resolution to lose weight. I guess we'll just have to start that diet tomorrow. 

It's a Girl!

Yes, congratulations are in order. We have a not-so-new addition to our family. Her name is Sophia, and she is Mark's older daughter from a previous relationship. Isn't she gorgeous? And she has the same beautiful curly hair as her little bro, Squeege. Big sis Sophia will be 4 years old in April, and we are so happy to finally be a part of her life. 

And as you can tell, Squeege is happy, too! We've met for a few play dates so far, and they have had such a great time together. It's so cute to see them laughing and playing. I'm sure they'll be great friends. 

From our first few meetings together, it seems as if she's got a lot of her brother's personality traits. She is silly, loves to make faces, and is super-sweet. She seems to be a little bit calmer, however. Her mom, Cori, said that she doesn't throw herself onto the floor and scream when she doesn't get her way, which is one super-fun thing that Evan loves to do.